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Piranha 3D – Review

reviewed by hallo
directed by Alexandre Aja, 2010
(to read Danny’s review of Piranha 3D, click here)
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Anytime the initial scene of a horror movie reveals someone hanging out in a boat in the middle of a seemingly deserted lake, you can bet your bottom dollar that extreme campiness will follow (Lake Placid, Hatchet).  Piranha 3D keeps that tradition alive.  After a small earthquake creates an opening to a separate underground lake that had been sealed off from the main Lake Victoria for millions of years, a deadly species of piranha, presumed to have been been extinct for years, are now able to make their way to Lake Victoria.  The arrival of the flesh-eating fish is ill-timed since it is spring break week and thousands of hormone filled young people are enjoying their free time on the lake.  The stage is set for hardcore carnage.

The movie follows the plight of young Jake, a teenager still living at home under the care of his mom, who is also the town sherrif, played wonderfully by Elizabeth Shue.  Instead of fulfilling his obligations as a babysitter to his younger brother and sister, Jake sets out on a boat with a small crew from a “Girls Gone Wild” rip-off as their “location scout.”  While on the lake, the piranha discover the buffet of people available to them and the crystal clear water soon turns dark red.  Lots of blood and lots of body parts make up the rest of the film.

A quick perusal of RottenTomatoes.com will show a “fresh” rating of 81%.  What is interesting about the reviews, however, is that many critics associated with RottenTomatoes.com echo sentiments similar to Beth Accomando who says, “The new Piranha 3D lived down to my absolute lowest expectations and I say that with nothing but gleeful affection.”  I, unfortunately, agree with her assessment but cannot agree with her conclusion.  Despite some strong performances and a few effective death scenes which I will mention below, the film falls woefully short.

The primary reason for my disappoint with the film is its ridiculously over-the-top sexual exploitation.  Whereas many horror films effectively utilize sexuality to improve the telling of the story, Piranha 3D simply needed something for the viewers to watch in-between kill scenes.  That something was a bunch of sex-starved college students going a step beyond the antics of Mardi-Gras relocated on an otherwise serene lake.  A few times during the film I was embarrassed to be in the theater even though I was by myself.  I am also getting a bit weary of movies doing a rip-off of “Girls Gone Wild” as a main part of their storyline.  It was just too much.

I was also disappointed with both the 3-D filming and the underwater struggles with the piranhas.  Many times, thanks to a massive amount of blood and the lack of clarity with the 3-D, much of the action was unrecognizable.  You couldn’t really make out what you were watching much of time during underwater scenes.  Add to that the reality that Piranha 3D has absolutely nothing to say about anything (by design no doubt) and I am left underwhelmed.

Nevertheless, the film does have its bright spots.  Elizabeth Shue is wonderful, as always, and brought a much needed serious tone to the film.  Her performance was especially interesting after recently podcasting on the topic of whether or not horror movies are misogynistic.  Richard Dreyfus, who is the unfortunate soul to first meet the piranhas, was fun to watch although he reminded you how much better Jaws is than this film.  For me, the highlight of the movie was a brief appearance by Christopher Lloyd as the old scientist who correctly identified the species of piranha unleashed in the lake.  It was as if Doc Brown had shifted his scientific prowess from a time travel expert to an ichthyologist.

Amid the mostly disappointing and convoluted kill scenes were a few memorable ones.  The best by far was the burrowing of a piranha into the stomach of a helpless lady only to explode out of her mouth a few moments later.  There was also a nice scene of a boat line falling down and slicing a young lady in half – Aja allowed 5-6 seconds of time to elapse before showing that she had been cut.

Overall, I am glad I saw the movie.  It is certainly possible that my expectations for the film were way too high.  I can’t fully recommend it and would heavily caution parents before allowing young people to see this film.  Yet, it is fun in parts, there is a great cast, and every now then you will find yourself smiling.  I guess that is more than I can say for a lot of horror films out there.  Proceed with caution.

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Posted by Hallo | 2 Comments

Splice – Review

reviewed by hallo
directed by Vincenzo Natali, 2010
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Vincenzo Natali’s 2010 sci-fi/horror release Splice provides a fascinating two-tier exploration for discerning movie-goers.  One the one hand, the movie must be evaluated on the rudimentary premise of overall theatrical quality.  In other words, is the movie well directed, does it make sense, does it keep your attention, does the viewer leave satisfied?  On the other hand, Splice provides a critical commentary on the underlying question of eugenics and the ongoing dilemma between innate moralism and the contemporary reality of a biological revolution.  There are issues raised in Splice that must be addressed, and in fact will be addressed within our lifetime.  For that reason, this film makes me shudder.

Splice is about a romantically involved couple, Clive and Elsa, who are also brilliant scientists leading a team of fellow biologists in the creation of two “self created” species.  Taking the DNA from a host of various animals, Clive and Elsa managed to splice together two creatures who have the capability to provide helpful biogenetic samplings that will increase agricultural productivity.  With their success comes their desire to take what they have “created” to the next level:  human DNA.  Clive and Elsa are convinced that if they are allowed to include human DNA in their process, then many health issues and diseases would be able to be instantly remedied.  Unfortunately for them, they are given the stop sign by the folks who have the money.  That, of course, will never do.  So, Clive and Elsa set out in secret to make their new human spliced creation.

Interestingly, Clive begins to have doubts.  He raises the appropriate moral questions about bringing the sanctify of human live into a test tube situation.  Elsa, on the other hand, is more concerned about the moral question of the millions dying from life-threatening diseases.  As we will discover, her desires are far more reaching, and soul stirring, than just science.

It was at this point in the film that I realized I was watching a different variety of the 1999 horror masterpiece Deep Blue Sea.  In that wonderful film, sharks brains are being altered in order to provide a cure for Alzheimer disease.  It is the lead lady that is fixated on seeing the study through to the end, even when that means going against the guidelines set forth by the pharmaceutical company.  As we all know, the end result is a bunch of people getting eaten by really smart sharks.

When the new human spliced creation is birthed, Elsa immediately begins treating it like a daughter, or as Clive cautiously puts it, a pet.  He, on the other hand, wants to remain in science mode and treat the creation like any other specimen.  Sensing the need to give the creation a name, Elsa comes up with Dren.  As Dren continues to get older, we begin to see a fascinating switch in roles.  Clive becomes more lovingly involved with Dren while Elsa begins to take step backwards into science mode.  This comes to a cringing climax when Elsa, in Clive’s absence, straps Dren to a table and cuts off part of her tail.  We learn that Elsa comes from a mentally troubled family and although the unknown factor of having a child has kept her from pursuing motherhood, she was able to find peace in the control forum of the laboratory.  When that control begins to disappear, Elsa becomes more and more fixated on science and experiment rather than life and nurture.  From that point, the concepts of normalcy, decency, and human dignity become blurred beyond the point of recognition, so that Clive ends up sleeping with Dren and correctly explains to an appalled Elsa that “we have changed all the rules.”  The movie reaches its conclusion with Dren experiencing a sex change and becoming violent.  Ultimately, after raping Elsa, he is killed.

Judging Splice based on its effectiveness as a good, entertaining movie is difficult to do because, in my case, the cultural, theological, and human issues carry great weight.  That, of course, is part of the director’s intent.  Yet, I found the movie to be poorly directed in certain points, especially when Clive and Elsa are working to create the new human DNA creature.  Those scenes came across as a couple of high school students studying for a science test the next day; it just wasn’t believable.  If folks are not able or interested in wrestling with the deeper undertones of the film, then it will fail to capture their imaginations.

On the other hand, Splice is a textbook example of why horror movies are extraordinarily important for not only increased cultural awareness on crucial issues, but more importantly for the continued need of a Christian worldview.  At one point during a presentation of Clive and Elsa’s first two created beings, the president of the company funding their work proudly announces that these creatures “were not born because of luck or fate, but by design.”  Embedded within her introductory remarks is the nerve-wracking, victorious implication that we are now able to “play God.”  From a Christian point of view, the Bible gives humanity the blessed dual-obligation of both dominion and stewardship over creation.  This certainly provides an interpretation that our use of animals can and should be for the betterment of humanity when possible.  At the most basic level, we acknowledge this when eat a hamburger.  Yet, we are not without limits on the dominion side of our rule and it must be coupled with proper stewardship before God.  Clive experiences a profound revelation of this fact when he acknowledges to Elsa that they have changed all the rules, nothing is sacred any longer, nothing is “right.”  Despite the scientific and technological advancements that make our world a better place to live, Splice solemnly reminds us that we are the created, not the creator.  Whenever our ambitions take us to a level beyond our created purpose and entice us to play the God role, the consequences will be disastrous.

Finally, both Splice and Deep Blue Sea (and others) force the viewer to wrestle with the “Robin Hood” ethical question.  Robin Hood, of course, breaks the law in order to serve a good purpose.  In both films, the motivating factor in playing God was to ease the suffering of humanity.  Yet, both films are built on the conclusion that such noble pursuits are not always the end-all be-all.  There are other, and at times more critical, issues to consider.  Besides, Splice demonstrates that the humanitarian reasons are actually a red-herring for Elsa who is instead motivated by her desire to conquer her family demons.  In a sin-cursed world, just how pure are the assertions of altruism?

Thus, Splice is mediocre when it comes to well-crafted story telling and directing.  It is powerful when it comes to critically thinking through human issues.  For that reason, I commend it to you.

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